How does one write again with depression?
I used to think that writing is like pounding a wall. For a very long time in my life, I wasn’t able to find joy in writing. During those times in my life, I wasn’t able to find passion in what I do. Writing for me during those times was very difficult.
It was a very different experience of how I discovered writing as a little girl. Forever since I was still young, I have always loved stories. In fact, my earliest memories were not memories of the real world but memories of stories that I have conjured up in my mind. My daydreaming led me to write down all of my thoughts on paper. Ever since then, I have always been a writer.
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Being Diagnosed with Depression
After I was diagnosed with depression, I wasn’t able to write properly for a couple of years. Those years were some of the most difficult years of my life.
During those times, I was struggling with some severe mental health issues which prevented me from writing, which was one of my many passions before.
I wasn’t able to comprehend what I was going through and wasn’t able to accept the fact that I had a problem for a very long time which prevented me from being able to write my emotions onto paper.
It’s Okay To Not Be Okay
But eventually, I learned even when the process was slow, hard, and raw, it all started when I learned that it was okay to not be okay at this point in my life as long as I strive to do my best to get better.
The first turning point was when I learned to accept that I had a mental illness, and that it shouldn’t be something that I should be ashamed of. It is just a part of who I am.
The second point was when I was finally able to be open about my own experience with mental illness and be able to finally be able to reconcile with that part of myself as a major part of my life.
Today I have realized that struggling with mental illness is something to be proud of, for it means that I am strong enough to handle it.
I have also found that writing can help my mental health.
Acceptance Let Me Write With Depression
Little by little, I was able to come back to the thing that I consider one of my greatest loves which were writing.
After I was able to accept my illness as a part of who I am, I was able to write from that experience and make some write-ups that I enjoyed making.
This is despite the admission that I am still not satisfied with the results. This is because I have very high standards when it comes to my work.
Things That Helped
If I were to give some advice on how to write again even after suffering an emotional drawback in my life, here are some pieces of advice that I want to share with you:
1. Accept and Love Yourself For Who You Really Are. Right Here. Right Now.
One of the most difficult things that I have had the pleasure to learn is to love myself for who I really am, right here, and right now.
I would even admit that on some days, it is very difficult to love myself. But it is a very huge part of the process.
When I wasn’t able to give myself the love that I deserved, I honestly thought that I wasn’t deserving of any passion in my life. And writing is one of my passions.
At the end of the day, if you really want to write authentic work, you have to feel like you deserve to write authentic work. Which can only be done with self-love.
2. Strive to write Excellent Work that is Authentically You
Whenever you try to write, do not just try to write average. Aim to write better. Aim to write authentically and reach for the stars when you write.
The best work one could ever do is the work that one believes in and finding ways to make this process easier.
For a very long time, I have tried to write according to what I thought society wanted me to do. When I realized that I could write whatever I want as long as It doesn’t hurt others, I was able to write infinitely better than I did before.
So my second advice is to strive for the best work that you could make that is authentically you. It would help your writing a great deal.
3. Do Not be so Hard on Yourself.
And the last piece of advice that I want to give is to not be so hard on yourself.
If you cannot write a single word on a particular day, just try to write again the next day. The words will come as long as you consistently persist.
But on some days when you are not able to write; just stop writing, sit down, and do another thing that you love. Trust me, your ideas will come the next day.
As of today, I am currently writing short stories that I feel is authentically me. After a very long time, I was able to write again. It is a very lovely miracle, isn’t it?
About The Author
Jinn Zamayla is a short story writer and an aspiring artist living in the Philippines. Aside from being a writer, she loves fashion, cinema, and any forms relating to art. She has always loved stories. Her earliest memories were not memories relating to the real world but memories of stories that she has conjured up in her mind. Her daydreaming led her to write down all of her thoughts on paper. Ever since then, she has always been a writer. As a writer, she has made multiple short stories and literary pieces which she is currently compiling into a collection.